I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
