What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
