He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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