Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize