So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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