my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize