Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
