Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
