He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
home. puking in laundry basket.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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