I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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