My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
