you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
