I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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