No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
