dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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