She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
