I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
