Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
