I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
