looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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