Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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