you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
