i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
