i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
