Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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