I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
