Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
