i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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