He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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