1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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