OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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