i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize