Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
