I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
