i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize