the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
