I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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