You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
