apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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