i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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