There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
