But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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