Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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