don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
