Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
