my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
