i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
