you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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