so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
