I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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