Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
