So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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