four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize