Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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