she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
