Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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